Mohagher Iqbal, the chief negotiator for the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), said delays in the passage of an autonomy bill in Congress have made the insurgents anxious.

He said rebel leaders are regularly notifying commanders on progress in implementing the peace deal, which was signed last year.

It sure is comforting that the FACES Laboratory could take so much time out of their busy schedule of doing age progressions to help locate kidnapped children (cause let's face it, odds are they're not going anywhere anyway) and help debunk the myth of a non-hot Martha Washington.

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So I came back to America, and kids were chanting 'MILF!

A Muslim rebel leader in the Philippines said Friday that any watering down of peace deal autonomy promises by the government would be unacceptable and that insurgents appealed to lawmakers to pass legislation that would help end a decades-old rebellion in the country's south.

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No dowdy house frau she was evidently a hot-to-trot MILF.

According to historical revisionists who have consulted special forensic anthropologists from Louisiana State University (FACES) and had them do a computerized-age-regression on a miniature watercolor-on-ivory portrait of a middle-aged Martha to figure out what she looked like at the ripe young age of 25 (when she married GW--the father of our country, not the son of the New Orleans' Mother Theresa and Gulf War Part I's Commander-in-Chief), she was not FUGLY in the least, but GORGEOUS, and certainly not FAT! Oh and don't let me forget Exhibit # 2 in the quest to purge the Ugly Bettiness out of poor Martha's besmirched visage: her glamorous "avant-garde deep purple silk high heels studded with silver sequins that she wore on her wedding day." What historian Patricia Brady called "the Manolo Blahniks of her time". Bringing a little Sex and the City sassiness to stodgy ole Mt. We also learn that in addition to reading the ole King James Jesus Tome she avidly consumed Gothic romance novels. It seems a little hellfire was burning in our first-First Lady's britches after all.

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It must be weird going from an actor taking bit roles, busting your hump to "make it," and then crossing into the zone where you're known. In an effort to promote his new television series Selfie, John Cho took to Reddit's AMA where he shared the strange moment when he realized he was famous.

but he's also been called to with a more confounding title.

From the purple mountains majesty to the glittering shores of Erection Cove, MILFs are the voluptuous, life-giving backbone of our proud nation.